PAGE 4 June 24, 2009
The Newscaster/Nature Coast News
Real Estate Today
Squawk Box - Continued carport at the time of the excitement.
from page 1
back yard, but thankfully, he was under the
A Guest Commentary by Darryl Diamond
All of a sudden, Ellen screamed bloody murder and was looking at me with a terri-
fied look on her face. I could tell by her demeanor that I was almost on the snake, so I turned
Fishing for Foreclosure's
face the threat of foreclosure
and ran like a world class sprinter, about 15 feet back, before I dared to turn and look for the
from individuals who would
snake I knew I d see. Sure enough, the snake was just a few feet ahead of where I d been
prey on them. This law refer-
It is 7 Pm Sunday evening on Lake
walking, directly in my path.
rers to a “Foreclosure rescue
Rousseau. Water temp is 90.5 degrees, and
I said, “Ellen, how could we have missed the snake when we were looking for it?”
consultant” as any person that
Iím fishing hoping for a nice 8 pound bass to
Ellen replied omminously, “They re good at it.”
solicits or offers to provide
jump up and grab my Devilís Horse surface
I went to my husband s workshop and retrieved a shovel. Ellen insisted that she d
a homeowner foreclosures
lure. The bass are just as sluggish as I am
take care of the snake, which was okay by me, but I was fearful for her safety, so I hovered
rescue services for a fee. These consultants
on this 95 degree day, so no bites as I enjoy
nearby. Ellen tossed the shovel like a spear, but missed the snake. “I just wanted to scare it
may not receive any payment at all before
watching the sun go down.
off,” Ellen said. “I m tenderhearted.” Well, the snake stayed where he was, very near the
completing all services contained in the
As I head back to the house my
shovel blade, curled up under the scoop portion of the shovel. We didn t want to grab the
agreement for foreclosure rescue services.
mind drifts off thinking about other people
shovel, because we d have to get too close to the snake, so I headed back to the work shop
Their service agreements must be
that are searching for another kind of fish
for more long-handled tools. While back at the house, I summoned hubby Tom, who came
in writing at least 1 day prior to entering into
these days. A foreclosure “fish”, and they
outside brandishing an air rifle-type BB gun.
a contract with an additional 3 day cooling
are getting plenty of bites. Here are some
Meanwhile, Ellen was poking at the snake with a palm frond, and I was scream-
off period for the property owner. They can
new laws to protect distressed mortgage
ing at her. “Stop it! Get back, Ellen! You re getting too close! You re making me nervous!”
not receive a fee until their service agree-
holders, as well as protecting the market in
Ellen was attempting to frighten the snake away, but he wasn t going anywhere, so Tom
ment is fully completed. This is to safeguard
general.
started shooting BB s, trying to get him to move. The snake slithered into the water, while
homeowners against deceit and financial
In the mortgage fraud department,
Ellen, who d become fed up with saving him, took off to her house to find bullets to her 32
hardship, and to prohibit representations
effective July 1,2008, any person who vio-
revolver. Well, the snake came back toward Tom, who by then, was shooting not to frighten,
that tend to mislead.
lates s.817.545- 2 involving a property loan
Continued in right column
This new law should give ho-
exceeding $100K commits a felony of the
meowners a reasonably good chance to
second degree, with an increased maximum
avoid equity purchases that may try to take
penalty from 5 years to 15 years imprison-
advantage of the situation. If you are in the
ment, and an increased maximum fine from
middle of foreclosure, be cautious, and feel
$5K to $15K.
free to call me if you want advise from a lo-
That should slow down buyers and
cal licensed mortgage broker. I'll try to help
lenders from trying to inflate property val-
you any way I can. I'll see you around “The
ues, and/or inflate buyers incomes to falsely
Campus” Diamond Investments Inc. Dar-
get a mortgage approval. Remember people
ryl, Vicki, and Shirley are your “The Dia-
that got a false loan approval are one of
mond Team” We are seasoned professionals
the main problems that have manifested
that are available for all of your real estate
itself into the current crises of defaults.
needs 7 days a week. If you are a buyer, or
Also of importance is the
know a buyer we want the opportunity to
recently enacted “Foreclosure Rescue Law”
serve them. Please call us at 352-447-4442.
which seeks to protect homeowners who
Squawk Box - Continued from left column
but to stun the snake.
On the way to her house, Ellen summoned another neighbor, Bobby Sims, who
came down to the bank with his 22 Magnum rifle and his cousin, Matt Kyser, in tow. Tom
had stunned the snake with several BB s, so he was easy game for Bobby, who expertly shot
the snake in the neck from a dock on the water s edge. Bobby cautioned us to cover our ears,
and I m glad he did, because the 22 made a very loud bang!
At that point, Ellen returned with her 32 handgun, a carton of bullets and another
neighbor, John Riley. Meanwhile, Tom, the founder and top dog at The Newscaster, true to
form, was having Bobby pose, with snake in hand, so he could run a picture in this week s
newspaper. See the photograph below (way to go, Tom). He also snapped a great picture of
Bobby Sims came to the rescue after Newscaster associate editor Tom Russell stunned the
Ellen, poking at the snake with a palm frond!
snake in the water with several bb shots to the head. Bobby used his .22 magnum to finish
Apparently, the nervous system of snakes continues to twitch for some time after a
him off. Bobby says these guys can be very aggressive. He said one chased him between the
snake dies, so Bobby dropped the snake onto the ground and took it, using the shovel, a safe
water and the river bank where he was fishing one time.
distance away from the well-traveled area where the snake was writhing.
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352-422-7925
www.alumbaughconstruction.com
email: lisavandeboe@yahoo.com
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