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Deborah Russell - Editor/Publisher
Wednesday May 19, 2010
Inglis, FL 34449
Tom Russell - Consulting Editor
A Publication of
Sally Price - Correspondent
Permit No. 14
Newscaster Publishing
Mike Moore - Photojournalist
Squawk Box
My Life As A Man
With Mike Moore
It’s been a while
since I’ve written about my
days of swimming in the
estrogen ocean here in In-
verness. Like the fella that
holds up the one and then
two fingers as he’s drowning, time has
matured and refined my double-trouble
14-year-old girls. Now at 16, the two of
them and their ubiquitous entourage of
similar aged females, this dad is on finger
number three.
For those of you having been
through the terrible Sixteens, I can feel
your sympathy and can hear the rounds of
“oh my” and “been there done that”. To
those of you who haven’t suffered this ex-
quisite pleasure, let me give you a little,
nay, tiny little taste of a man’s life in a
world of fully potent girl-women.
OK, I’ve failed. I’ve sat here for
a full ten minutes trying to construct a
series of words to describe the indescrib-
able. There are no words. Maybe just try
to imagine that you’ve been happily going
about your life when suddenly it dawns
Citrus County Cruisers, with over 245 members, have been entertaining people with their car shows since 1986. Several months ago they added
upon you that the tendrils of no escape
the “Valve Cover Race” reminding you of the old “Pinewood Derby” if you were ever into Boy Scouts. Ron Peets of Beverly Hills won Saturday’s
have wrapped around you and like a Lil-
race. The club also collects can food at the events for CASA and Citrus Cubs. Photo by Sally Price - More on page 2 - Cruisers Valve Cover Race
Citrus SO SERT Team
liputian nightmare, the days of “daddy’s
Crystal River
little girls” are gone and you’ve suddenly
become “the man”.
Defuses Standoff Incident
Being “The Man” means you’ve
Walgreen's Hit By
become the definition of bad example’
inside their private’ girl conversations;
you’ve become the road NOT traveled.
Robber
A 47 year-old Inverness man was
two weeks. She said Keller
Oh, I love this one: “pahleeeze, how could
arrested by the Citrus County Sheriff’s Of-
intended to point the cross-
YOU possibly understand, you’re just a
Shortly after 10:30 p.m. on Sunday,
fice, May 16, following a domestic distur-
bow at any officer who en-
man”. There’s the perpetual “you’re going
a robbery was reported at the Walgreen’s lo-
bance at an Inverness residence, slightly
tered the room, so the officer
out looking like THAT… not with US”.
cated at 310 N.E. Hwy. 19 in Crystal River.
after 4:00 p.m.
would hurt him.
The scariest by far, the one that
Witnesses told deputies that a lone
According to the arrest report,
A third witness told
Continued on page 2 - Squawk Box
suspect entered the store and headed for the
Anthony Keller was “in an agitated state,”
deputies that Keller told him
pharmacy. They described him as a white
Adopt A Pet
according to a witness, “yelling and scream-
that he intended to aim the
male, less than 5 feet 9 inches tall, wearing
Keller
ing, throwing things and tearing up the bed-
weapon at any officer who
gray pants, a black hooded sweatshirt, sun-
Page 2
room.” The witness stated that Keller need-
entered the room, in order to
glasses and a gray shirt or garment covering
ed to be taken to a doctor, and she did not
be injured or killed by law enforcement. The
his face.
know if he had physically hit anyone.
third witness also said that Keller had point-
He passed a note to the employee
Another witness stated that Keller
ed the weapon at his own head, but he could
behind the counter, demanding oxycodones
was despressed due to joblessness and mari-
not recall if Keller had pointed the weapon
and threatening to hurt people if he didn’t
tal problems. The second witness also said
at anyone else.
get what he wanted. Although the suspect
that Keller was “screaming and tearing up
Another witness was present, but
kept his hands in his pockets throughout the
the room, throwing and breaking things.”
was not interviewed due to her age and poor
exchange, no weapon was ever displayed.
She said a lamp he threw went over her, as
health, the report stated.
Hundreds of pills were handed over
she laid in bed, and broke against a wall, and
Deputies had everyone leave the
in a white bag, and the suspect ran from the
she had left the room. She said that Keller
residence, with the exception of Keller, and
store.
was waiting in the bedroom with a cross-
cordoned off the back bedroom of the resi-
bow which he’d acquired within the past
Continued on page 2 - Robbery
Continued on page 3- Standoff